I would have to say that I do my best thinking while driving.  Perhaps because I am not able to allow any other distractions while I'm driving.  No twitter, no email, no phone, no digg.  The odd thing is that I don't like to drive..  =P

I’ve been reading some new blogs lately, and I must admit I am very impressed with some of the bloggers I’ve found.  From Men’s Health to being a dad, to being a good husband, there are plenty of articles and tips to help people like me out.   What is really nice is that they’re short articles that I can read over coffee in the mornings.

Sometimes, I can't help but think there is either no one out there watching over me, or if there is someone watching over me they're getting a good laugh.  (After all, why does your AC unit have to fail when you're flat broke and payday isn't for another week if SOMEONE can't get a good laugh out of it?)

I kid.  I know that every experience, both good and bad, have their purpose.  I am reminded of Hurricane Charley in August of 2004.  I was living on the gulf coast of Florida and spent a month with my wife without power or any "luxuries".  It was probably the best month of our relationship; we were able to talk and connect without the distraction of the television, phone, going out, etc.  We even agreed that if would could live with each other with no power for a month and not kill each other, perhaps we could tackle this whole marriage thing, too.

I think someone or something is watching over all of us..  Whether it be a God, fate, random energies, a flying spaghetti monster, whatever.  Perhaps they're not directly influencing things, but maybe helping to subtly guide forces and energies towards a certain result.

... maybe they can guide me towards a cheap AC repair tech.  ;)

We’re all unique. For example, I’m the only geeky philosopher that I know (I know there are others out there who are also geeky philosophers, but that’s just an example). We all have those little personality traits about us that make us who we are, in relation to the world. Fear plays the main role in why we allow our differences to affect our relationships with others. Whether that fear is the fear of commitment, the fear of ridicule, the fear of not being accepted, or any other fear we might throw out there. The ego plays a big part in this, as the ego is the one that has trouble with criticism. I used to think that getting rid of the ego would improve society, until I read Steve Pavlina’s article, The War on Ego. Now I understand that the ego, like everything else in the world, has a benefit. I do enjoy feeling unique; but I also have the desire to join the crown on occasion (which has left me with one too many hangovers because I didn’t want to say no). Overall, I enjoy being separate from others, the value is that you don’t lose your “uniqueness” and your identity. However, I understand the desire and, sometimes, the need to join the herd. I am in no position to judge what works for others. Separation works for some; conformity works for others. To quote a good friend of mine, “.. whatever blows your hair back.”

UrbanMonk has a great post today, Meta-Emotions: The Downward Spiral to Unhappiness and How to Avoid Them.

All too often, I let things nag at me. Something minor happens one morning, such as the fact that we have run out of cat food, and I let it ruin my day. My attitude starts from the fact the cats had no food. It then turns to frustration (why didn't I pick up cat food last night?). It then turns to irritation (Now I'm going to be late for work.. again!!). Then, while at the store to get more cat food, I grow irate with the other customers at the store (Okay, seriously, the freaking coupon is expired. Arguing with the cashier will not change that). I grow irritated with the cashier (Come on, I know you can scan and bag faster than that!). When I get home, I get irritated with my wife (What do you mean the baby isn't ready yet? What have you been doing while I was at the store?!).

It doesn't end there. I finally get to work, and by now it doesn't matter if I'm late or not because I've long forgotten about the fact that I was late for work.. On the way in to work, I might receive and email about a user being locked out of the network (Why can you not remember your password? You only use it every day!).

Of course, the end result is that I've had a rotten day. I blame everyone around me and finally, after everything is said and done, I feel like a failure because I know that it started with me and my over-reaction to a minor event. When I see this happening, I try to stop it from letting it get to me. I am not always successful, but for the most part I can bring my mood back to a reasonable level.

urban monk has made me realize that I'm on the right path with my thinking. The little things really do add up, and most of it is simply an over-reaction to something you really cannot control, and even if you could have prevented it, there isn't anything you can do about it now. Getting angry will not help anyone, if anything, getting angry at something that you cannot change or something that you cannot control will only hurt yourself at the end of the day.

Now, that is not to say that anger is a negative emotion and should be avoided. Anger is natural; however anger should be controlled and directed. Be angry at yourself for forgetting the cat food last night; but direct the anger to be motivation not to forget the cat food again.. don't let the anger be directed towards the people who had nothing to do with it.

This means: Russ, it is NOT Cindel's fault that YOU forgot to get cat food. .. and yes, you overreacted at work when you breaded the user about entering the wrong password.

Let it go.

>> Originally published on my blog, Suddenly Beautiful.

My biggest project has been to stop complaining.  I recently picked up a book, A Complaint Free World by Will Bowen.  He describes that the accepted wisdom is that it takes 21 days to learn a new habit, therefore why not try to stop complaining for 21 days?  After that, you should develop the habit of not complaining, which will help to remove that negativity from your life.

I started this project last month, and so far I am on my longest streak of 48 hours!  I'm generally pretty laid back, and I really didn't think of myself as a complainer.  I was sorely mistaken, and this project has opened my eyes to some things that I was unaware about myself.

I've made it 24 hours without complaining. Tonight will be 48.

I've complained so much since beginning this project that I have broken two of my makeshift bracelets that I had switched hands with. I feel motivated now; I don't want to start all over again.

My patience has been tried many times today. For example, this morning, while driving to the carpool, after having just pulled out of my driveway I was being tailgated by a person while doing 25 MPH down my residential street.

My first reaction, of course, was to remain at my current speed. After all, why should I get out of the way when I am doing the speed limit?

The person behind me began flashing his lights. First, it was a simple flicker. Hmph! Why are you flashing your lights at me?! I'm doing the speed limit! Why should I get out of the way? The anger and frustration began to build up.

A few seconds passed, then a few more flickers.

I think to myself, Its not MY fault this person is running late. It isn't my fault if you slept in.

Then, after a few more seconds passed, I came to my senses. I took a deep breath and let my blood stop boiling. I asked myself "Your day began so well; why let this person ruin it? Perhaps this person was on their way to the hospital because their son or daughter got sick last night. Perhaps they just found out their mother's house had been robbed. You never know someone else's story."

Very well, I thought. I pulled over and chided myself for allowing negativity and anger be my first reaction.

My wife asked me "What are you doing?!"

Realizing I was about to lose my 24 hour triumph, I bit my tongue and said "They were flashing their lights behind me. Perhaps they were in a hurry because of an emergency".

Now, either my wife loves me enough to to just accept my idiosyncrasies or she knows that attempting a debate with me on a matter such as this is futile. Either way, she rolled her eyes and kept quiet. I like to think she just loves me that much.

>> Originally published on my blog, Suddenly Beautiful.

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain".
-- Maya Angelou

I followed a link from the Simple Marriage Project blog. This led me to a website, A Complaint Free World. That, in turn, led me to the library to find Will Bowen's book, "A Complaint Free World".

Here's the idea. The accepted wisdom is that it takes 21 days to learn a new habit. So, why not learn not to complain for 21 days to develop that habit. No complaining, no gossip, no whining, no grumbling. You wear a bracelet (or rubber band, or whatever) to turn your attention to your complaining. Start out on one hand, and WHEN you complain, switch hands. Do this every time you complain. Eventually, the idea is, you will realize how often you complain and learn to stop yourself from complaining. Complaining only brings about more negativity. When one is focused on complaints, one cannot see the positive aspect.

4 hours in to the project, I have switched hands 3 times 4 times. But, its Sunday and I haven't really had any contact with anyone aside from the wife. We'll see how long it takes me to make it through 21 days. According to the book, it generally, it takes about 4 - 5 months to make it through 21 days straight.

I have Cindel on standby to point out any complaints, and I'm going to talk to people at the office to make sure that if they hear me complain they make sure to mention that I swap my bracelet.

In other news, Cindel and I are taking my youngest sister to the Rocky Horror Picture show for the first time tonight. If I can remember, I'll make sure to take plenty of pictures and post them on my site.

Kucinich withdraws from Presidential race

Damn.

I can’t help but think that if Kucinich wasn’t denied entry to various debates, he would have had a much better chance. See all those links? Yeah, those are all separate times that Kucinich was denied the ability to debate with the other democratic candidates. The worst one was MSNBC’s debate in Las Vegas, in which Dennis was invited, met the criteria, then was un-invited because MSNBC changed the rules at the last minute, stating that they [MSNBC] only wanted the “top three” candidates instead of the “top four” as they have done in the past.

As sad as this sounds, “We, the People” do not pick the president. “We, the Media” (MSNBC, ABC, Fox, etc.) pick the president. Why? Because “We, the People” trust the media to give us accurate information. How naive we are; thinking that money wouldn’t influence what we see in the news.

Fortunately, there is the Internet. Where, for the most part, you can find unbiased information.

People: vote for who YOU want to vote for. This isn’t the stock market; this isn’t a horse race. You don’t get extra points for selecting the candidate who wins.

I voted for Kucinich last week. I have had people tell me I wasted my vote.  I wasted my vote?  I voted for the person *I* wanted to be president. Explain how that is a waste of a vote.  It isn’t about who has the best chance and who doesn’t; it’s about YOU voicing YOUR opinion about who YOU want to see in office.

For those of you who voted for Clinton or Romney or Obama or McCain because “they are more than likely the ones who will get it”: You wasted your vote by not voting for the person YOU wanted to be president.  All you did was feed the machine who has put this country in the mess we’re in now.

Yep.  That’s America. 

BTW, Florida:  Go vote today if you haven’t already.

 

Originally published at blog.suddenlybeautiful.net. Please leave any comments there.